Funny #MothersDayProblems Friday

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I share this sentiment, but not necessarily with gifts. Not to brag, but I’ve found my mother the perfect Mother’s Day gift; that’s right, I’ve finally convinced my mom to upgrade her iPhone 3GS to a 5S (another part of my gift will be helping her navigate iOS 7, which she’ll likely respond to much the same as everyone’s favorite BFFs, Irene and Alice). What I really struggle with every Mother’s Day is finding cards that truly convey what I’m trying to express.

For me, the card is more important than the gift. First of all, you can exchange a gift; that card, not so much. Second, it sets the mood for the gift; mess up on the card, chances are the gift won’t feel very heartfelt (can you say experience?). Third, cards actually say something; yes, an iPhone is something that my mom will use daily, but getting her a phone doesn’t exactly say, “I love you, you’re the greatest mother in the world and I couldn’t thank you enough for all you’ve done as the matriarch of the family,” but the right card can quite literally spell that out. Alas, I always find something wrong or downright offensive about Mother’s Day greeting cards.

This Funny Friday, I’m sharing my five major Mother’s Day card tiffs.

1. Over Abundance of “Me”

What do we call the second Sunday in May again? Child’s Day, oh no, that’s right. It’s called MOTHER’S DAY.

What’s more cringe-worthy than having a mother read a card for her day that’s basically the child’s autobiography.

Every time I read a card with “Me” written too many times, the card may as well just read like this: “Dear Mom, thank you so much for making me into the best person I could be. You gave me the strength to conquer all my goals, you taught me how to how important family is, and you always believed in my abilities to do anything I put my mind to. So thanks for making me so great. Happy Mother’s Day.”
Perhaps on Mother’s Day, we shall focus on Mother’s and not ourselves.

2. Sorry, not Sorry

Well known fact: mother’s daily jobs are often thankless. (Hence why this Card Store video went viral last month).

 

 

While the job maybe thankless, when cards solely concentrate on that aspect, two things happen: the giver sounds insincere and like a punk. Some cards might as well read, “Dear Mom, sorry I take everything you do for this family for granted, and I’m often inconsiderate. While I might ignore the things you do 364 days out of the year, today I just want to acknowledge them, because you’re actually kind of great. I’ll try and actually remember to recognize this, but it might be another year until I do. Happy Mother’s Day!”

3. Stereotypical Mother

So who wants to break it to the greeting card industry that it’s 2014? Because they seem like they’re frozen in 1950 where all mom’s devote their entire lives to cooking, cleaning and raising children… oh, and shopping. Not every mom is a stay-at-home mom; millions are career oriented, and (as cards should focus on the mother and all she does), it wouldn’t hurt to hit on that point in a card). Personally, my mother was a corporate marketing executive and Superwoman, yet I can never find a card that hits on her job as a breadwinner (I have no trouble, however, finding a Father’s Day card for that).

I’m certainly not giving her a card that mention’s cleaning, because it just seems like I’m saying, “Dear Mom, you rock for doing all the stuff I hate to do, like making dinner and keeping this house peachy clean. Next time you reach for the toilet bowl scrubber, just remember that I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.”

4. “Across the Miles”

So many times in my life, I’ve found the perfect card. Absolutely this is the one. It’s genuine and completely unoffensive, and then I get to the last line, “even across the miles….” NO! Can’t children have epiphanies about how much their mother’s rock without living in a different city? I live in Chicago. My mom live’s in Chicago. I can’t get an across the miles card (I know because my older sister did that when she was 16, and it was not well-received).

5. “Mother to Mother” and “From your Son”

Much like the “Across the Miles,” are the “Mother to Mother” and “From Your Son”cards. As I lack children of my own and male anatomy, I can’t give those cards, but that doesn’t stop me from reading them. (Yes, I’m that person who spends 40 minutes reading every card, even if I obviously won’t be giving it. I understand when daughters become mothers themselves, they realize SO much about what their mothers have done for them, but daughters without children can realize that, too. Here’s an idea, can’t stores stock cards for children without children and/or Oedipus complexes.

Luckily for me, my mom taught me everything I know, which is, you can totally annotate greeting cards (or even cross things out), which makes cards more personal and shows that you actually read it and not just bought it because you liked the way it looked. So when I can’t find the perfect card, I can usually revise it with a sharpie to make it just right. Oh, Mother’s Day problems.

Is anyone else struggling with Mother’s Day Problems? Share them with us in the comments.

Cover Photo Source: stockstudio

Cassandra is a Content Manager and Developer at SJG. She earned her BA from Fontbonne University in 2011. Outside the office, she enjoys an active, healthy and well-rounded lifestyle including reading, writing, running, golfing, watching films, listening to music, taking photographs, and consuming media and social media.